When we decided to try for a baby we thought we were ready. Mid twenties, career, mortgage, we were good to go.
Well let me tell you, at no age are you ‘ready’ for a baby. How can you be? You’ve never done it before. No experience. No qualifications.
Nothing can prepare you for the rollercoaster of parenting.
You babysat your nephew I hear you say? Nope. Doesn’t count.
You work in a nursery so have plenty of experience with kids. I don’t care. Not the same.
You work nights so are used to a dysfunctional body clock. Pah.
I remember bringing Lamb home after 3 days in hospital and feeling my whole world turn upside down, because that’s exactly what happens. Literally.
Suddenly our house was full of nappies, baby grows, bibs and muslin cloths. Not to mention the nipple pads, breast pump, cold toast and 3 week old magazines lying around.
Life. As I knew it. Had changed.
I remember talking to my younger brother when I was pregnant about having kids. My nephew at the time was around 5 months old. His words to me were “having a kid is 80% bad, 20% good. But the good is enough to out weigh the bad”.
At the time I laughed. I now know what he meant.
Parenting is hugely difficult at times. No matter what age you have your first baby, you are thrown into a realm of unknown sounds, damaged body clocks and shattered hormones, with the expectation that you can carry on smiling.
It’s not always that easy.
Parenting to me came as a complete shock. Since I can remember I wanted to be a mum, don’t get me wrong I did and still do, and everyone close to me thought I was a natural with kids.
That was until I had by own. Little did I know I’m not a ‘natural’.
I struggle.
My memories of Lamb as a newborn are feelings of panic and dread. Panic that I wasn’t doing it right and dread for when he would wake up next. Not because I didn’t want him, but because he woke up every 2 bloody hours!
Lack of sleep is a killer and every parent will tell you, until you’ve had a baby, you have no idea.
Then there’s the added hormone imbalance. Feelings of extreme lows, extreme highs, or just no feelings at all.
You know when Mother Nature is visiting and she’s a little on edge? Anger, tiredness, tears and well, cravings for bad stuff. Multiply that by 100, in some cases 1000 and you’ve got yourself a new mum.
Let’s not sugar coat this stuff. We all know there are those few people who warned us how hard it is and we brushed them away. Those who said life will never be the same. Those who you now want to pat on the back for being so damn honest.
However, where were the ones telling you that first time your son says “sorry mummy” for dropping his toys or the first time your daughter tells you “what a cow does” will bring tears to your eyes.
Where were the people telling you when your fussy eater tries a new food for the first time makes the months of struggling totally worth it.
Where were the ones reminding you how special it is when your little one brings you paintings homes from nursery.
You see, that 80% of bad my brother was telling me about is bloody hard work. Nothing you will ever be ‘ready’ for.
But the 20% of good, the “I love you’s” and “sorry mummy’s”. The overwhelming rush of joy you feel is so powerful, it makes that 80% feel like 5%.
Ax
Kaye says
So true, I had NO idea how hard it would actually be with a newborn, easily the hardest experience of my life but also the most amazing! Such a life-changing time. #kidscorner
Everything Mummy says
after the initial adrenaline rush wears off it hits you like a ton of bricks doesn’t it and it doesnt go away I felt completely out of my depth with one two and three.But after a few days it all sinks in, thanks for linking up to #kidscorner
Katy {What Katy Said} says
This is so lovely and you are so right, those 80%’s do feel like 5’s when they give you hugs etc.. When people say to me ‘we are not ready to have children so are waiting’ I always try to explain you are never ready. We had G mid twenties too and I am so glad we didn’t wait. We weren’t ready but at the same time we really really were. Thank you so much for sharing in #KidsCorner x
Carolyn says
Great honest post, you’re right, you can never be totally prepared and just deal with things as they come, and of course it’s tough, really tough at times but it’s all worth it when we see that smile, hear that new word or get those gorgeous kisses! #kidscorner
Carolyn
http://stylishmemories.com
Katie says
Your totally right here I was 18 having my twins and 31 having my 5th child. Even though I was obvioulsy much more prepared on subsequent kids, that newborn phase is always a crippler and you find yourself thinking ‘I don’t remember it being this hard!’ but you always pull through it 🙂 Thanks for linking up with #SundayStars x
Alex says
I keep thinking I’ll be fine with my second, but every baby is different and no matter how much practice you get you’ll always be overwhelmed! But we wouldn’t change it for the world would we xx
Charlotte @ Educating Elsa says
This is all so true. I was so overwhelmed on the day we brought Elsa home from the hospital that I cried because I was in shock and panicking because I thought I wasn’t able to look after a newborn! Turns out I was wrong and even though it’s bloody hard work and you don’t feel like you are ready… you do it anyway and it is the best thing in the world!
Great post 🙂
Alex says
Thanks Charlotte. I think back to our first night at home and wonder how the hell we got through it?! It’s a very strange feeling having a new born in a moses basket next to your bed. Suddenly you have this little person to take care of with no one there to guide you! But we all get through it in the end 🙂 xx
Donna says
I don’t think anyone is ever ready either. However long it takes you to have a baby, whatever your age or wherever you have got to in life, parenting is so new, nothing like anything you have done before. Great post x
Emilyandindiana says
This is such a true and honest post. Nothing ever prepares you for having a baby – not even the 9 months of pregnancy haha. But it’s soo worth it – I almost got all emotional the other day when I told indiana we were going on a train and she replied with ‘choo choo’ my heart melted haha xx
Alex says
I get emotional all the time hun! Every time Lamb says a new word I well up!! 🙂 xx
TiddlerTales says
This post is spot on, exactly how you feel in the early days!!! I’ve got an 18 month old and still look at newborns and cringe. Nothing can prepare you for how utterly exhausting and scary it is but nothing can beat that love you have too. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for baby number 2 but I guess I’ll be more prepared what to expect…a bit gutted that I might not be as excited in my next pregnancy cos I’ll just be more realistic about what we’re letting ourselves in for! Great post 🙂 x
Alex says
Thanks for your comment hun. These honest posts are difficult to write, but it’s so lovely getting recognition like this. early stages of parenting was so difficult for me but I’m finally in a place where I’m confident with what I’m doing. I feel the same about baby 2! I keep saying I could easily have an only child, but I feel I need to do it again to prove I can handle it the second time around! xx