Why I’m not making New Year Resolutions

The start of 2015 is a bit of a blur. Nothing drastic happened in the first half, as far as I can remember, other than on my first day back to work after the  holidays.

I expected to start the new year with a bang. My wedding was on 21st December, so I was heading back to work a married women. Excited, buzzing, possibly with a hint of wedding blues. However the first day back at work I was hit with redundancy. Bang. There goes the great start to the year. My bosses even came to my wedding reception, saw me for a brief second and disappeared. Now I know why. Ugh.

Turns out I got to keep my job. A colleague announced her pregnancy the day after (I already knew) as she thought it was a vital piece of info the directors should know before letting me go. Surprise, surprise I got to keep my job. They promised it wasn’t because the other girl was leaving, but hey, I may be blonde but I’m not a dumb blonde.

I wasn’t happy in my job, but it was a job and one that was flexible around Lamb. They didn’t care if I was late, let me change days and generally easy to work for. I thought many times about leaving but what else would I do? I decided to keep my job. I had bills to pay, food to buy.

Roll on to March and we are celebrating Lambs 2nd Birthday in CBeebies Land. Of course, this was a highlight of our year, and a lovely memory to look back on.

Even though we are struggling financially (hubby was made redundant at the end of 2014 and is now an apprentice), we decided to treat ourselves to a holiday in Spain. I’m so grateful to my husband for using our savings to take us on holiday. We all really needed the break and we had so much fun.

Fast forward to September and the bad luck began. Of course, let’s not forget a very important day of last year, September 13th. The day I found out I was pregnant with baby no.2. I had 1 whole week to enjoy that feeling, get my head around my second pregnancy, until crash. Literally.

On the 21st September I was in a car accident. Totally the other parties fault, completely random, and absolutely terrifying. 1 week after finding out about my pregnancy I was in the hospital having my first scan. Was my baby ok? Unfortunately they couldn’t detect the baby on the scan, he was just too tiny. My urine tests confirmed I was still pregnant, and I had no pain or bleeding, but that’s all I could go on. I was offered an early pregnancy scan, but it never happened. So I spent 6 very long weeks waiting for my 12 week scan, and it couldn’t come soon enough.

The bad luck continued and mid October I was (once again) made redundant. This time there was no going back. The company had been made insolvent. I walked into work, lunch in hand, to be sent home and never return. Just like that. No notice, no pay, no redundancy. I’m still waiting to receive this.

You’re probably thinking, surely nothing else bad happened to us after these 2 disasters. Well, it did.

The woman who crashed into me wrote my car off. Our beloved car. We hadn’t had it long and it was an absolute winner. Excellent on fuel consumption, fab condition. Once we received our insurance money (which was less than we expected, and the £650 excess was deducted because the other driver decided to not accept labially – don’t get me started on that) we only had 7 days to find a car and return the hire car. We quickly bought something hubby was happy with. Turns out it needed a new clutch, which cost us £800. That’s right, £800. F**k.

Moving on we have our beloved Gruffalo. Lambs little bestie. Suffering with phenomena we had already spent over £300 on his treatment and he was recovering, but slowly. Turns out the universe had another plan for him. Death by poisoning. The day Grufflalo died has to be one that stands out as the worst, other than my crash. It was horrific and I don’t wish anyone to experience what I did when he passed away. We have no idea what actually poisoned him, but there was nothing they could do to help, no matter what time we got him there. His death was inevitable.

We’re approaching the end of the year and we couldn’t wait for 2015 to be over. Just a few more weeks to start a fresh new year, hopefully with some good luck.

Before we ended the year of course 2015 wanted to slap a bit more bad luck in our faces. Our washing machine broke. Yeah, that’s right, 2015 wasn’t done with us yet.

A few weeks earlier my tumble dryer had also broke, but luckily my dad was able to fix it (after a few days of taking it apart). Then our washing machine went.

By this point we were laughing at everything bad that happened to us. It’s just been one of those years.

So, as you can see, you can’t predict the future. You can’t determine how your year will go. Trust me, I wasn’t expecting my year to go so badly after such a high when I found out I was pregnant.

2015 has taught me a lot. Stay strong and stay positive. A lot of my friends are shocked at how positive I’ve been recently, and I think it’s because I’m naturally a positive person, and this has really got me through bad times.

I keep telling myself there are people worse off than me. We have a roof over our heads (just about) and food on the table. I’ll start to panic when things really get serious, but for now, we are plodding along.

2016 will be a better year, I can feel it. I have baby boy number 2 to look forward to and Lamb’s 3rd birthday. I have made a promise to myself to work hard, on my blog and on my brand, but you won’t see me making any resolutions. I’m going to let life get on with things and work with it.

Ax