When Lamb was around 9 months old I wrote this post on my experience with the baby blues. If you haven’t read it already, please check it out if you want to know about how I was feeling during the spell.
While I was jotting down my thoughts and feelings about the blues, little did I know they would continue for a lot longer. Until Lamb was around 16 months to be exact.
Seriously, how many of you knew the blues could last that long, because I certainly didn’t.
There’s this area of unknown when it comes to post natal depression and baby blues which sits between the 2, and it needs to be talked about.
I’m a strong believer in fighting depression with love and support before turning to medication. I’ve touched upon depression in the past and got through it without professional help, so when I spent the first 16 months of my sons life battling with extreme emotions I was confident I could do it again.
Looking back on my ‘dark days’ I can now say I had mild post natal depression, but I can also say I’m happy with my decision not to speak to a doctor or health visitor about it. My ‘medication’ was simple. Socialising and talking through my emotions with friends, family and fellow mummies (you know who you are).
This was successful for me, but everyone is different. Don’t read this post and think you will be ok without professional help. I did mention to my health visitor at Lambs 12 month review how I was feeling, in fact she could see it straight away. She told me to call her if I was worried about how I was feeling.
The blues lasted a few months longer, but as Lamb developed into a toddler and became more independent I started to feel more confident as a mother and enjoyed spending time with him. I could feel the ‘dark cloud’ lifting and knew I was recovering.
When I think back to the first year and a half of Lambs life it pains me to think how sad I actually was, because I have the most beautiful, funny, caring and sensitive little Lamb, and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am and how much I love him. I honestly feel I have gone from one extreme to another.
I hate it when books and websites tell you the baby blues last for a couple of weeks and are usually in the first couple of months after birth. What a load of rubbish. Ok so this may be the average, but no where does it say the blues can last much, much longer, or is it the case that if they do you automatically get pushed down the PND road and have your mouth stuffed with meds.
For me, I want to raise awareness to the fact there is this middle ground between the norm ‘baby blues’ and PND. A ground that is rocky and long, but that smoothes out over time and ends with unicorns, fairies and candy floss. Trust me, I got there.
Alex x
If you are suffering with the ‘baby blues’ or are unsure of how you are feeling, please call your health visitor. They are not their to judge, they genuinely care for you and can talk you through the darkest of days. Do not suffer alone. They want to help.
Your so brave to write about this its not easy adjusting to becoming a parent I think most of us get the up and down days I know i still do now and my youngest is almost 14 months but like you say its good to talk about it and I find getting out and about lots and meeting new people helps massively.
Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars
Love this post hun. Think I can definitely relate to elements of this, being a new mum can be quite lonely that was why I jam packed our first year full of baby groups and things to do. I don’t think I had baby blues or even nearing onto depression but I can really understand why women do get to those points. I found it was on the day’s when we didn’t do much that I would feel rubbish. Your so brave to write it all down, I think you will have helped a lot of people! Thanks for linking up #MummyMonday xx
Lovely post, It’s nice you got there in the end. I have PND, been struggling with it for a long time. However I’m doing it without medication, and that is such a improvement for me. Its nice to know i’m not the only one! xx
Steph | http://www.raisingemily.net
This is a great post, it is something that people need to talk more about. Your very brave for sharing x #mummymondays
Thanks so much. It’s taken me a long time to admit there was something wrong. Well, I always guessed it but friends would say I wasn’t depressed, which is kinda right. I was definitely somewhere in between baby blues and pnd xx
I think I had mild pnd, I tried to speak to my mum about it and all she said was ‘don’t be silly, never had anything like that in my day’. Very helpful right? Posts like these really will help others xxx #SundayStars
Errr, yeah not so helpful… Hope you’re ok now? The more of us that talk about it the better the awareness will be. It’s just that initial step to admitting there’s something not quite right xx
I was really lucky and didn’t suffer with PND and have never suffered with depression before so this topic is one that I read about to just be aware and try and understand. Lots of women try to suppress it without seeking help through either love and support, or medically. It’s so lovely that you got through it and are encouraging people to come out and not hide in the shadows with it xx #mummymonday
As I’ve never been diagnosed I feel bad to those that have because I talk about it like I was officially depressed. But there are so many women who suffer without tasking about it and this needs to stop. If they are unsure about talking to a doc then talking with friends and family is really important. It surprising how much this can help xx
Great post. Your little fella is gorgeous. Are his trousers from M&S? Think Billy has the same 🙂 #mummymonday
Thanks hun. No they are from H&M, love the colour on him! xx
This is a great post thank you for sharing. I’ve felt quite low on and for some time and wonder whether it’s just feeling down or mild depression. I’m one of those people who makes out everything is ok but I think I need to talk more 🙂 x
Thanks Lucinda. When I was feeling low there was no way I was going to be officially ‘depressed’ by going to the docs as my feelings were not strong enough, but I was definitely in a bad place. There’s certainly this grey area of mums who struggle, but don’t necessarily need meds. Trust me, talking through your feeling with other mums really helps because you realise you’re not alone. xx
Great post Alex. I totally see how you can be having a long lasting baby blues without falling into deep PND. Unfortunately I was not that “lucky” with my first… http://www.littleworldcitizens.com/dealing-with-pnd-far-away-from-home/
I found your blog through the #mummymonday linkup and I am glad I did.
Have a great day. Cheers from Uruguay
Charlotte
Hi Charlotte thanks for your comment. Thanks for the link to your post, I’ll definitely be having a read later (after Made in Chelsea of course!)
Looking forward to seeing more of your blog now we have connected 🙂 Alex x
Visiting from the #mummymonday linkup. Thanks for sharing this – it’s so important that people talk about PND and PAD (the adoptive parents’ variant) and encourage others to seek help. Glad to know you’re out the other side now. x
Hi Hannah, thanks for your comment. It really is so important because so many parents hide away with their emotions. If I can help one person with my story I will be happy 🙂 xx
Love this post. I certainly had the baby blues, I don’t think I had full on post natal depression and I did the same as you, just made sure I socialised and kept busy to deal with it. As they grow up everything starts to become more fun and as Mother’s we are better rested as well. Great post x
Thank you Donna. It’s definitely important to get out of the house when you’re a new mum isn’t it. I remember my HV constantly telling me to join groups etc, it’s almost like she knew I wasn’t myself! SO glad I powered through and found happiness xx