You may have noticed I’ve been a little absent from my blog for the last week or so. I’ve also completely given up on vlogging which I was really starting to enjoy. Well I’m ready to tell you why…
Monday 21st September begun as a normal day. Actually, it wasn’t my normal routine, I had to leave the house at 7:30am to get to an orthodontist appointment for 8am. This obviously isn’t what I usually do on a monday morning, but Lamb stayed at Grandmas giving me a stress free morning to get out of the house early.
The appointment lasted approximately 40 minutes and I was soon on my way to work. Leaving the house so early meant I skipped breakfast so I quickly stopped at a McDonalds drive through for a bacon roll and a cappuccino.
I had to drive a different way to work as the dual carriageway I normally use had been closed due to an accident between a lorry and a tractor. By the time I got there it probably would have been open again but I didn’t want to risk being stuck on the motorway, especially this one, there’s no petrol stations for the whole stretch between where I get on and where I exit a good 20 minutes down the road.
So off I went through some villages; a way I’d never been before. I was probably around 15 minutes from work, the road wasn’t overly busy, but there were a few cars around on the school run/going to work etc.
What happened to me next couldn’t have been predicted by anyone using the road that morning.
All I remember is driving along normally at a speed of 30-40 miles per hour. Then I saw smoke.
The woman driving towards me had slammed into my car front on. She had made a split decision to to quickly turn her wheel drastically to the right resulting in our collision. The only way I can describe it, is like she did it on purpose.
It all happened so fast. Literally seconds. There was a horrific bang, hissing, and lots of smoke.
As I opened my eyes I saw the airbag inflated on the passenger side, then turned and looked at the one in front of me. It took not even a second for the adrenaline to kick in and for me to work out how I was getting out.
I looked up and saw the smoke. I also saw brown liquid everywhere which I instantly assumed was petrol.
My maternal instinct kicked in. I had to get out for my son.
(I have tears rolling down my eyes as I write this. No matter how many times I tell the story, it doesn’t make it any easier).
I unplugged my seatbelt; the thought went through my head that it might be jammed. It was fine.
I jumped into the back of the car. I don’t know why I didn’t try to open the drivers door, I think I assumed it was damaged from the collision as her car hit the drivers front side and I just thought she would be blocking my door.
Anyway, I had to get out and fast. I honestly thought the car would blow up. You see so many programmes, factual or fiction with car crashes and the worst goes through your mind.
The impact of the collision had forced my car against a bush. I noticed this as I jumped into the back seat.
This meant I had to get out using the passenger door behind the driver. Or so I thought. The door wouldn’t open. It was jammed.
Panic struck me and I screamed “I can’t get out”, but once again my maternal instinct kicked in. I was not getting stuck in this car and I was getting out no matter what. I wasn’t going to waste time screaming and trying to open a door that clearly wasn’t going to open.
I turned around and looked at the passenger door which was rammed against the bush. My only way out.
Don’t ask me how I did it, but I pushed that door with everything I had left in me and created a space big enough for me to squeeze out onto the boot of the car. Looking at the photos, I still don’t know how I got out.
As my feet hit the concrete I collapsed in fear/shock/tears. A man from another car ran down and scooped me up and kept telling me I was going to be ok. I was so scared of standing so close to my car; I just kept thinking it was going to blow up! Turns out the liquid was my cappuccino and I was covered in it (yuk). Everyone still laughs at me when I tell them I thought it was petrol.
The car driving behind me was owned by a lovely woman who stayed with me until I was taken by the ambulance. I can’t remember her name but she was so caring and helpful and if it wasn’t for her I don’t think I would have calmed down.
The car accident was my first and hopefully my last. You hear about collisions etc and you just hope it doesn’t happen to you. Although I’ve come away with just cuts and bruises, and damaged muscles, I could of been a lot worse, and I thank my lucky stars I wasn’t hurt more seriously.
As well as physical injuries I’ve been effected mentally. For most of last week I felt quite depressed. My whole life had been turned upside down. I have a routine which I wasn’t able to follow and I hate that. I had to stay at home and rest and this had such an effect on how I was feeling mentally. I’ve lost the confidence to blog and vlog, and I just feel different.
You may be sat there thinking I’m being a bit dramatic, but I’m just being honest. I’ve managed to keep up with social media and sharing photos on Instagram, but my blogging mojo has been damaged and I certainly don’t feel like fiming for my YouTube channel. I’m sure I’ll get back to my old self soon.
So why did the crash happen? Well, the woman said she went to brake, but accelerated by accident and panicked. As she panicked she quickly turned her wheel and crashed into me. There was absolutely no reason for it happening other than a random act of panic.
She will be charged for wreckless driving and it will be up to the court if she is punished.
Our car is written off so we are waiting to hear from the insurance so we know how much we will be awarded to buy a new one. Lambs lovely Joie car seat has been scrapped as it was in the car at the time, so we need to buy a new one.
But those are just possessions.
Lamb wasn’t in the car. Daddy Lamb wasn’t in the car. It was just me and I’m here to tell you the tale.
Ax
That is just such an awful experience. I can imagine it’s had a really big effect on you. It is certainly a time to count your blessings and it’s so good you came out of it physically alright.
Omg you poor thing, you were so so lucky. I can totally understand that you are not yourself, you are dealing with shock and it can have a huge effect on you mentally. Don’t be worried about blogging, give yourself some time to process things, hope your ok soon xxx
Oh my gosh, so glad you’re ok! What a terrifying experience, really makes you look at things differently and think about what’s important. I don’t think you’re being dramatic at all, experiences like that do change things completely! xo
Big hugs lovely!! I hope you are managing the flashbacks. It sounds like a truly traumatic event, it’s no wonder it is all still so raw. Take each day as it comes. Just know that we are all here waiting for your mojo to come back, wishing you all the best. We’re not going anywhere! x
im glad you’re ok, it’s so scary when these things happen. Hopefully you’re feeling back to yourself in no time xxx
OMG that would be so scary, not surprising you’re shaken up and not feeling yourself. I’ve never been in a car crash, it terrifies me to think of children being in a car crash. Thank goodness you’re ok and having lots of cuddles with Lamb
Oh bless you my darling. So sorry you had to go through this. Sending you lots and lots of love xxxx
Such a scary thing to happen. Hope you’re getting the chance to get over it, and you get another car sorted soon.
Oh my god! Firstly, I am so glad you are okay and no one else was in the car! Secondly you are not being dramatic and thirdly, I would be exactly the same. Terrifying seems an understatement. Have you spoken to a doctor about how you’re feeling? It is totally normal to feel like this after something so traumatic. (((hugs))) You are so brave. xx
This is so touching. I can’t believe all this happened to you, thankfully you’re ok to tell the tale. You’re so brave! X
That must have been terrifying! I’m glad you’re okay and no one was badly hurt. Like others have said, take it one day at a time and I’m sure you will be back to your usual self soon. Take care x
Oh god you poor thing what a nightmare, thank god you are ok honestly cars are so handy but so so dangerous.and what a foolish foolish woman that drove into you whatever else was going through her mind she could have caused a lot more damage and heartache. Mind yourself x
Oh my gosh, sweetie, that must have been quite and ordeal and so terrifying for you. You are not being over dramatic at all, shock from a situation like that affects us all in different ways. Just give yourself some time xxx
Oh you poor thing, how absolutely awful. I think it’s very brave and probably quite therapeutic blogging about your accident and I think you should congratulate yourself on that. One day at a time and you’ll soon be back to your normal self I’m sure. xo
This is so scary. I actually commented on your Facebook earlier saying do not feel silly for thinking the drink was Petrol. In the heat of the moment and panic stricken you would think that. What an awful experience my love. Just take your time to get over it. xx
Oh my, glad you are ok but how scary. I did laugh about the brown liquid turning out to be coffee, but wasn’t that a good thing. Take care of yourself x
Scary stuff! Not surprised you thought the worst about the liquid in that situation. Car accidents do knock you around I think even low speeds bumps, but to hit at any speed must be much worse. Glad you’re ok.
How scary for you! I’m so glad to hear your ok. I expect you’ll be shaken up for some time though after such a nasty and unexpected accident
Oh my goodness. One of my complete fears and one that makes me avoid driving if I can! – I have only been in a minor accident as a passenger but it was over in a flash! Before you know what is going to happen it has already happened! I developed an irrational fear of other peoples driving! I am not scared of driving I am scared of the other people on the road for this exact reason!! I am so glad you are here to tell the tale but don’t feel bad for feeling different and a little down it kinds of put things in to perspective at how quickly life can change and it is scary!! Hope you feel all round better soon xx
Seriously, you’re not being over dramatic at all.Have you thought about seeing your doctor? It sounds like you’re suffering from PTSD, I would really advise to go and get yourself checked out.Be kind to yourself and take some time out to get yourself back on track.Take care x
Oh goodness. Really hope your ok! Shock from things like this really can effect us! Cars and crashes are so scary so I really feel for you. Awful experience. Hope your able to move on from this experience soon. Lots of love xx
Omg Alex! You are lucky you are okay! I don’t know how you got out of the car. I am in tears I am so glad that you are okay. I can imagine it must have had such a bad effect on you. Watch out for any neck or back pain afterwards. It doesn’t usually come on till 2-3 days after. Don’t worry about blogging and vlogging you will soon feel okay again. But don’t give up on it because I love your vloggs and blogs. And if it makes you happy in sure you will be back at it when you feel yourself again. Thinking of you so glad that you are okay xxx
Wow huni, thank god it wasn’t worse. I am so glad you are o.k, the shock will probably affect you for a few weeks yet xx
Reading the story almost had me in tears, so so scary! Don’t worry about blogging/YouTube at all! Take your time to recover and anuggle your boy as much as possible! Xx
Thanks Hun. It’s just so frustrating that my life has changed due the act of another and now I’m behind on everything, you know what I mean? But I’m spending more time with Jax and the hubby and I’m not on my phone as much etc which is really nice xx
That must of been absolutely terrifying for you, I’m glad your ok, don’t worry about blogging/vlogging. Take sometime to make you feel better, we will still be here babe. sending you love & hugs xx
Thank you darling. I don’t want to fall behind but certainly don’t have the drive to blog/vlog daily. I might do some today and see how I get on 🙂 xx
Wow, what a very, very scary experience – I’m not surprised to read you are suffering still from him, it sounds like everything happened so fast. It’s amazing how the fight or flight instinct can kick in when there is danger. Have you been able to get back behind the wheel since? I was in a car crash when I was 17, and I knew that I had to drive as quickly as possible afterwards, so that I wouldn’t lose the confidence. xx
It was super fast. I was out of the car in seconds. Yes I’ve been driving again. Luckily we have 2 cars and our other car is a 4×4 so I feel safe driving it as it’s much bigger. I knew I had to get back behind the wheel quickly xx