It took me a long time to get the courage to try for another baby. It wasn’t something that came naturally to me. Mainly because of my struggles with Lamb in the early days. I certainly didn’t have an easy ride.
Looking back there was always a hurdle to jump, there was rarely a time when I wasn’t worried about something. Unfortunately this resulted in my own form of post natal depression. I wasn’t diagnosed, I wasn’t medicated, but looking back I know I was struggling.
Now my head is clear (and has been for a while) I’ve been able to think about baby number 2. We decided to try spontaneously, there was no long term planning. We just went for it, and happen to fall pregnant straight away!
To be honest I think this was the best way for us. No time to change our minds! We knew we wanted more children, but we would always think about how I felt when Lamb was a baby and wonder if we should wait a little longer.
Let’s be honest, there’s never ‘a right time’ to have a baby. There’s always going to be something getting in your way, something that causes concern, but no matter when you have a baby, you will faces some challenges, whether that be financially, emotionally, or physically, so I say just go for it if it’s what you want! A baby will mould into your life seamlessly with plenty of love and care.
Even though we are having baby number 2, and are super excited for his arrival, I still have my worries. Things that I struggled with when Lamb was a baby that I fear will happen again. I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned over the past (almost) 3 years and what I might do differently to make our lives is a little easier.
- Breastfeeding. When I was pregnant with Lamb I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but it didn’t quite go to plan. I’ve spoken about this a few times on the blog and you can read about my struggles here. Breastfeeding doesn’t work for everyone, as much as you may want it to. As much as I want to breastfeed baby number 2, after my experience with Lamb, I know it may not be possible. For this reason I’m going to be prepared. I’ll have shields, bottles and a pump ready for when he’s born. If he doesn’t latch I know he can get my milk another way. Of course I’ll be disappointed that I can’t feed him myself, but I won’t blame myself if it doesn’t work out. I’m pro happiness. I’ve wrote about this in more detail here.
- Weaning. I think this is probably one thing I’m most scared about with baby number 2. I really struggled with weaning Lamb. I started by following Annabel Karmel recipes and made so much food for him. Baby led weaning completely baffled me, I just couldn’t get my head around what I could/couldn’t give him! I blame myself for how bad his eating is. I know it was probably inevitable that he would be a fussy eater, but I do think my fear of weaning didn’t help. I wrote this post on weaning tips and advice – if only I knew nothing was going to help. I’ve learned a few lessons from weaning Lamb, and hope I don’t struggle second time round.
- Colic. Lamb struggled with colic quite badly, until he was around 6 months. Luckily for us Infacol saved the day and kept him happy and pain free. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a struggle. We had a number of occasions where we experienced a ‘colic cry’. Wow, colic cries are painful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The poor thing was helpless. We learned that using a combination of anti-colic bottles, infacol and winding well really helped. With baby number 2 we will be prepared an look out for the signs of colic.
- Sleep Routine. When Lamb was a newborn he fed every 2 hours day and night. I don’t mind if that happens again, a baby feeds when they need to feed. Ok, so it will be tough on me is baby number 2 feeds every 2 hours too, but it won’t last forever. For me I’m worried about getting baby into a sleep routine and him sleeping through the night. Lamb started sleeping through at around 6 months (he started dropping feeds at 4 1/2 months). However things changed when he turned 1. He suddenly started waking in the night again asking for milk, and he’s never properly slept through the night since – he’s 3 in march! I really hope we are more strict with baby number 2 and don’t give in to milk demands. You can read about our sleep training with Lamb here.
- Post Natal Depression. Of course I am worried about getting post natal depression with baby number 2. I wasn’t diagnosed with Lamb but I was definitely struggling. During the first trimester of this pregnancy I suffered with a bit of anxiety, and my main worry was feeling like I did when Lamb was a baby. I do not want to go through those feelings again. I want to enjoy my new baby from day one, not month 16! But, if it does happen again, which I’m expecting, I’ll be prepared. I’ll look out for the signs, I’ll speak to my HV and family. I’ll look at what helped with Lamb and do those things again. You can read about my experience with baby blues here.
Right now I’m feeling good about having a newborn again, really good. Although I’m feeling worried about the above, I’m also feeling prepared. My mind is open and I know things aren’t always straightforward. What all of us mums need to remember is there is always someone to talk to if you’re struggling with something.