While I sit alone wearing My Little Pony pjs, stuffing my face with a Big Tasty, Harry Potter in the background, fan blowing because this room is like a million degrees, I reflect on the weekend I just had.
My very first BritMums Live conference. My very first time at any blogging conference.
All I feel right now is a feeling of relief. Relief it is all over.
Don’t get me wrong, BritMums Live was amazing. Such a great atmosphere. Wonderful bloggers and brands to chat to, extremely informative seminars, and highly emotive keynote speeches. You really are in great company there.
However, as much as I enjoyed BritMums Live, I spent most of the time feeling a little out of my depth. A feeling that overwhelmed me to the verge of panic.
“Breathe Alex”.
As a teenager I was full of confidence and had an infectious personality; a personality still expected of me. Well, I’m not a teenager anymore, I’m fastly approaching 30 and I can tell.
Becoming a mother has changed me. I have learned to love like I’ve never loved before. I’ve learned to live life selflessly. I’ve learned to appreciate what I have and what’s important in life.
However, becoming a mother has also weakened me. I’m an emotional wreck at the hint of a sad story (I was the weeping blonde at the back of the keynote speeches). I have moments of panic in unfamiliar situations. I freeze when talking to people I’m meeting for the first time.
The thing is, you guys aren’t strangers. Most of who I met at BritMums Live know me, and I know you. So why does my mind go blank when I meet you in person? Why do I panic at the thought of approaching someone to say hello?
What’s happened to me?
Attending BritMums Live was a huge learning curve for me. Sitting in my little blogging bubble in my small semi-detached house in sunny Essex, I had no idea at how enormous the blogging world is. There’s thousands of us. Literally. So why am I important?
I suppose attending BritMums Live helped me realise how much work needs to go into a blog to make it a full-time profession. Something I was naively unaware of.
I often have to pinch myself when I’m comparing my blog to others and remind myself I have a job. I don’t blog full time. Those who do, grow quicker. Obviously.
BritMums Live has taught me so much about growing into a professional blogger. Increasing my social media following. Talking to PRs (something I’m actually doing well with already), and how important good SEO is.
It also taught me how happy I am with the way things are going. I don’t blog everyday, I don’t join in with every linky and I certainly don’t keep my social media up to date. Considering all of this I am really proud of what I’ve achieved so far.
I’m not the most well known blogger by any means, but I do have a circle of amazing blogger friends who regularly read and comment on my blog posts. Blogging is a community and I certainly feel I am part of it. Even if I am hiding behind my Macbook.
I am very proud of my little space online
Ax
P.S although I am happy with my blog as it is (slowing growing and expanding), there’s one BIG thing that will change about it soon. Lamb & Bear is expanding but not in the blogging world. Something exciting is happening and by the end of this year you’ll see what that is!
What is it! I can’t wait 🙂
You know that totally sounds like you’re pregnant! 🙂 So lovely to meet you x
The first paragraph certainly does!! I’m not though… I don’t think… No I’m not, definitely not! Lol. So lovely to meet you too xxx
I know I only met you briefly but I never picked up on any of this!! So the way you think you come off isn’t actually the way you actually come off- if that makes sense 🙂
It was so nice to meet you, and hopefully next year you’ll be even more comfortable about it all. It gets easier each time. xx
Such an honest post Alex! See, I didn’t get the feeling that you were like that all…you come across very confident. But I do understand completely how you felt as I did too! I hate approaching new people and freeze and my mind goes blank.
P.s So excited for Lamb & Bear’s future 🙂 xx
This is such a brilliant post for so many reasons and so beautifully written. I went to Brit Mums for the first time last year and I can relate to so much of this. I didn’t realise how big the blogging world was either and I felt so naive. So you should be proud of your gorgeous online space! xxx
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, I would have loved to ha e gone! I can totAlly relate to this though and would have felt the same. I’m too shy for huge events like this and far too emotional with these Preggo hormones ATM gaha xx