You may have noticed I’ve been a little absent from my blog for the last week or so. I’ve also completely given up on vlogging which I was really starting to enjoy. Well I’m ready to tell you why…

Monday 21st September begun as a normal day. Actually, it wasn’t my normal routine, I had to leave the house at 7:30am to get to an orthodontist appointment for 8am. This obviously isn’t what I usually do on a monday morning, but Lamb stayed at Grandmas giving me a stress free morning to get out of the house early.

The appointment lasted approximately 40 minutes and I was soon on my way to work. Leaving the house so early meant I skipped breakfast so I quickly stopped at a McDonalds drive through for a bacon roll and a cappuccino.

I had to drive a different way to work as the dual carriageway I normally use had been closed due to an accident between a lorry and a tractor. By the time I got there it probably would have been open again but I didn’t want to risk being stuck on the motorway, especially this one, there’s no petrol stations for the whole stretch between where I get on and where I exit a good 20 minutes down the road.

So off I went through some villages; a way I’d never been before. I was probably around 15 minutes from work, the road wasn’t overly busy, but there were a few cars around on the school run/going to work etc.

What happened to me next couldn’t have been predicted by anyone using the road that morning.

All I remember is driving along normally at a speed of 30-40 miles per hour. Then I saw smoke.

The woman driving towards me had slammed into my car front on. She had made a split decision to to quickly turn her wheel drastically to the right resulting in our collision. The only way I can describe it, is like she did it on purpose.

It all happened so fast. Literally seconds. There was a horrific bang, hissing, and lots of smoke.

As I opened my eyes I saw the airbag inflated on the passenger side, then turned and looked at the one in front of me. It took not even a second for the adrenaline to kick in and for me to work out how I was getting out.

I looked up and saw the smoke. I also saw brown liquid everywhere which I instantly assumed was petrol.

My maternal instinct kicked in. I had to get out for my son.

(I have tears rolling down my eyes as I write this. No matter how many times I tell the story, it doesn’t make it any easier).

I unplugged my seatbelt; the thought went through my head that it might be jammed. It was fine.

I jumped into the back of the car. I don’t know why I didn’t try to open the drivers door, I think I assumed it was damaged from the collision as her car hit the drivers front side and I just thought she would be blocking my door.

Anyway, I had to get out and fast. I honestly thought the car would blow up. You see so many programmes, factual or fiction with car crashes and the worst goes through your mind.

The impact of the collision had forced my car against a bush. I noticed this as I jumped into the back seat.

This meant I had to get out using the passenger door behind the driver. Or so I thought. The door wouldn’t open. It was jammed.

Panic struck me and I screamed “I can’t get out”, but once again my maternal instinct kicked in. I was not getting stuck in this car and I was getting out no matter what. I wasn’t going to waste time screaming and trying to open a door that clearly wasn’t going to open.

I turned around and looked at the passenger door which was rammed against the bush. My only way out.

Don’t ask me how I did it, but I pushed that door with everything I had left in me and created a space big enough for me to squeeze out onto the boot of the car. Looking at the photos, I still don’t know how I got out.

As my feet hit the concrete I collapsed in fear/shock/tears. A man from another car ran down and scooped me up and kept telling me I was going to be ok. I was so scared of standing so close to my car; I just kept thinking it was going to blow up! Turns out the liquid was my cappuccino and I was covered in it (yuk). Everyone still laughs at me when I tell them I thought it was petrol.

The car driving behind me was owned by a lovely woman who stayed with me until I was taken by the ambulance. I can’t remember her name but she was so caring and helpful and if it wasn’t for her I don’t think I would have calmed down.

The car accident was my first and hopefully my last. You hear about collisions etc and you just hope it doesn’t happen to you. Although I’ve come away with just cuts and bruises, and damaged muscles, I could of been a lot worse, and I thank my lucky stars I wasn’t hurt more seriously.

As well as physical injuries I’ve been effected mentally. For most of last week I felt quite depressed. My whole life had been turned upside down. I have a routine which I wasn’t able to follow and I hate that. I had to stay at home and rest and this had such an effect on how I was feeling mentally. I’ve lost the confidence to blog and vlog, and I just feel different.

You may be sat there thinking I’m being a bit dramatic, but I’m just being honest. I’ve managed to keep up with social media and sharing photos on Instagram, but my blogging mojo has been damaged and I certainly don’t feel like fiming for my YouTube channel. I’m sure I’ll get back to my old self soon.

So why did the crash happen? Well, the woman said she went to brake, but accelerated by accident and panicked. As she panicked she quickly turned her wheel and crashed into me. There was absolutely no reason for it happening other than a random act of panic.

She will be charged for wreckless driving and it will be up to the court if she is punished.

Our car is written off so we are waiting to hear from the insurance so we know how much we will be awarded to buy a new one. Lambs lovely Joie car seat has been scrapped as it was in the car at the time, so we need to buy a new one.

But those are just possessions.

Lamb wasn’t in the car. Daddy Lamb wasn’t in the car. It was just me and I’m here to tell you the tale.

Ax