We all know the saying ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’, but how true is this? How much does money effect your relationship?
Before we had kids, my husband was a full-time printer and I was a full-time fashion designer. Between us we earned a decent salary (well my other half did, I didn’t earn enough for what I did at all). We were able to go on holidays, eat out, go shopping. We had enough disposable income to enjoy ourselves.
Fast forward to when Lamb was born.
I went back to work 3 days a week and we had to pay a few hundred pounds in childcare, so things weren’t as easy, but we could still go on holiday once a year.
Fast forward again to when I fall pregnant with Bear.
My husband had been made redundant and was an apprentice training to be an electrician and I was suddenly finding myself being made redundant also.
We’re now earning less than half of what we did and live off my husbands wages, child tax credits and the small amount I earn through blogging. We scrape by each month not knowing if there will be enough to cover all of our bills, but somehow we are managing.
We can’t afford a lot. No holidays (unless I’m reviewing or our in-laws help pay for it), not many big days out etc. No moving house.
So how has our huge drop in income impacted our relationship?
Well in all honesty it’s brought us closer together. Why?
Because we hated our previous jobs. We were unhappy in our roles, yet couldn’t quit because we would both struggle to find a similar role in our areas of expertise that paid the same.
We were stuck.
For us the redundancies were a blessing in disguise. A tough decision taken out of our hands and made for us. A fresh start. A tough one, but a new chapter in our lives.
Ok, so right now we’re stuck in our current house and cannot get a mortgage to move. We have no money to extend, BUT we have a home and that’s the main thing.
We’re making minor changes to freshen it up and utilise what we have.
The Shepherds Friendly Society shared this infographic with me which has some interesting statistics about whether money impacts your relationship. I’ve asked some fellow bloggers their views and here’s what they had to say.
“I think that sometimes it can effect your relationship with your partner. In our society, I think there are a lot less shared bank accounts/shared income. Each still pays their way, but what’s left is theirs. If someone earns significantly more than the other person, it can mean that one person is always able to go out, or buy new things for themselves, or go away with their friends etc. As the person who earns less, sometimes that can really get to you as you sink most of your money into simply surviving! Watching your other half have all the fun when you work just as hard can put a strain on relationships, I think“. lukeosaurusandme.co.uk
“I think people are too busy trying to keep up with each other – latest phone, car holidays etc rather than enjoying what they have. it’s the little things that matter in life”. letthembesmall.com
“I don’t think that money necessarily brings you happiness but it certainly makes life a lot easier!!
Maternity leave was a really difficult time for us and the added worry of money definitely affected our relationship”. www.mommyandrory.com
“Apparently using money to buy time (eg hire a cleaner or pay someone to do errands) does buy happiness! Personally I think I’d be happier if we had another 10k a year (which I’m working really hard to get) because it’ll reduce my stress levels”. Accidentalhipstermum.com
” I think money stress can definitely affect a relationship. It’s awful when you are constantly worried about paying the bills and naturally you may take this out on each other”. Www.livingwithajude.co.uk
In all honesty we are much happier since losing our jobs. My husband was so unhappy as a printer. The long night shifts and unsociable hours took it out of him. I resented him sleeping in the day when I was up all night feeding Lamb, then up all day with him too.
We had money, but we couldn’t actually enjoy it. He was too tired, I was too tired. We had a baby. We had 2 babies.
Ok, so of course we’d appreciate an extra couple of quid here and there. We’d like to be able to save a little each month after eating away at anything we had saved.
But if there’s ever an example of how money doesn’t buy happiness, take a look at us.
* Collaborative post