Something happened to me the other day and I feel the need to write about it. I think you can see from the title I’m going to be discussing body shaming, and how it comes in many forms.
Now, my experience wasn’t in any way negative. The comments I received were lovely, I wasn’t body shamed at all. I just want to make that clear.
However, a couple of comments did make me question what I’d posted.
The post I’m referring to was the image above. I shared this on social media and talked about how I am starting to embrace my curves and accept how I look after 2 kids.
The post was hugely popular and I received so many lovely comments regarding my weight and how I look. If you commented on this post – thank you. The response made me feel amazing.
There were, however, a couple of comments that didn’t make me feel so amazing. The comments referred to how I wasn’t curvy and I was in fact “skinny”.
Yes I am “skinny”. But I am also very curvy. Believe it or not it is possible to be both.
Being curvy is something I have learned to love. The amount of comments I get about my ‘Kardashian’ figure in a positive way gives me such a boost.
“I’d much prefer a big bum to no bum”.
“People would pay for a bum like yours”.
All of these comments have helped me get over what used to be a complex. I have spent so many years hating my figure. Wearing A-line dresses to hide my hips and bum. Rarely wearing a bikini in front of people I know.
Even in school I would tie my jumper around my waist to ‘hide’ my big bum. I was in SCHOOL. No school girls should worry about things like this, but I did. All because a boy pointed out how much bigger my bum was than the other girls when I was around 11 years old.
And so began my ‘big bum’ complex.
Fast forward to today and my favourite outfit is a pair of high waisted skinny jeans with a tucked in or fitted t-shirt. A look that shows off my curves and enhances my “skinny” waist.
Something I feel is shown perfectly in the following photos.
The comments I received telling me I wasn’t curvy actually hurt a little. They made me feel like I was fishing for compliments about how “skinny” I am. They made me feel like I might offend someone who didn’t see themselves as “skinny”.
I even discussed this with my husband and he understood why I was feeling the way I did.
I’ve spent my whole life learning to love my curves, and suddenly they were being taken away from me, like I wasn’t allowed to say I was curvy.
I wasn’t even complaining about my curves, I was embracing them. Yet some people took the post as me being negative about how I looked and that wasn’t the case at all.
This may all sound a little crazy to you; maybe I’m not making sense. But this got me thinking about body shaming and how you don’t have to be ‘overweight’ to feel body shamed.
Yes I know I’m slim. I’m a size 8 in quite a lot of items now. I have size 30D boobs (so basically no boobs ha) which helps me look “skinny”, and my waist has always been small.
BUT, I have a big bum and wide hips and no matter how “skinny” I am, I will always have them, because it’s my SHAPE, not my WEIGHT.
What would you say if I told you I’m a size 12-14 in jeans? Heck, in H&M I can’t even get into a size 18 in jeans!
I’ve worked damn hard to lose the baby weight (both times) and it takes a lot of effort to make sure I stay slim and don’t pile on the pounds due to my slow metabolism and under-active thyroid. But I will always be curvy.
I know the comments I received were all meant kindly, and I’m in no way angry or upset by them. But it got me thinking and I felt I need to get this off my chest.