Brand & Blog
Yesterday we took Lamb on the Gruffalo Trail in Thornton Country Park. We also went on Good Friday and had such lovely time we decided to take Grandma and Grandpops yesterday for a family day out.
With his Gruffalo trail map in hand Lamb led the way around the woods on the hunt for the characters from the story…
If you have a Gruffalo fan in your house I highly recommend finding a Gruffalo trail near to you (I’m pretty sure there are a couple dotted around).
Ax
It’s crazy to think in approx 5 weeks we will be a family of four. Well, you could say we already are. Baby boy is very well integrated into our lives as a bump. He certainly makes himself known with his crazy kicks and movements! Lamb is totally aware there there’s a baby in my belly, and thanks to his dolly knows that baby is going to be pretty small when he comes out.
I’ve been teaching Lamb about the new baby to prepare him for what’s to come. We’ve had a little chat about breastfeeding. His sleeping isn’t great and he still asks for a bottle in the night. Before you ask why my 3 year old still has a bottle, he has serious eating issues and we have continued his bottle for reassurance he is getting some protein and calories each day, and it’s also a huge comfort for him. I’ve told him mummy will be too busy feeding baby in the night to get him a bottle. I explained that the baby drinks his milk from mummy’s boobies to which he replied “your boobies?!!” And laughed! I told him that’s what boobies are for and special milk comes out to feed babies and it’s important mummy feeds him as much as he needs. He listened intently and seemed to take in what I was saying. I just want him to know that mummy may not be able to come to him everytime he calls me. If you read my post D is for Daddy you’ll know he’s very attached to mummy at the moment.
I also briefly talked about labour with him. Not the gruesome part, just the build up. This week I pumped up my birthing ball as I was advised by my health visitor to start bouncing on it now as it helps get the baby in a good position. Lamb of course needs to know its not a new giant ball for him to play with and mummy needs it to help the baby. I explained to him that when mummy goes into labour mummy will hurt a little and bouncing on the ball will help.
You never know when or where you will go into labour, how fast things will progress and who will be with you. If things move quickly for me (which they did with Lamb – I went from 1cm to 7cm in 2 hours!) and I’m at home with Lamb I don’t want him to be freaked out if I’m suddenly in a lot of pain and breathing heavily. Of course I don’t want to scare him, but he’s a clever little boy and he has an incredible memory and if I tell him a few things now to prepare him, I know he will remember them when things start to happen, like mummy hurting.
Once the baby is here I know it will take some adjusting for Lamb. He’s so loved and yes, we are a little soft on him, so to go from having our 100% attention to sharing us will be difficult for him. I really hope his sensitive side shines through and he embraces the newborn stage of having a brother. A little person so small and delicate can’t be a threat to him surely. I hope he sees that.
There’s still a lot we need to do to prepare for becoming a family of four. Lambs bedroom needs organising a little more to make room for baby’s stuff. Obviously baby boy will be in our room for a few months and we will be enjoying our SnuzPod for as long as he fits in it. However we have a small bedroom and no space for baby’s things, so all of his clothes and nappies etc will be kept in lambs room. I’ll be writing a post in collaboration with Boori next week about the boys sharing a room and how we will make space for their things. It’s going to be a squeeze but we will manage I’m sure!
Becoming a family of four is a little daunting, I’m not going to lie. The early months with Lamb weren’t easy for me. I have no idea how I will cope with 2, I’m just hoping the age gap between the boys will help. Now Lamb is 3 he’s suddenly gained this independence and loves to play with his toys by himself. He makes up little stories and you can hear him talking to his toys. Buying him his mid sleeper cabin bed for his birthday was the best thing we could of done, he loves playing on his little den underneath! It makes him feel more like the ‘big brother’ he will soon be!
We are definitely very excited to meet our second son and become a family of four. I feel like these last weeks are dragging now and we just want him here so we can begin our next family chapter. It’s going to be a rough ride, but an incredibly rewarding one too.
Baby boy you are already loved so much and we already see ourselves as a family of four…
Mummy x
Or lack of…
Lamb’s eating is terrible and has been for such a long time. We’ve kind of got used to it now, although it still pains me to watch him cry when anyone puts food in front of him.
We often ask ourselves, how is he surviving? We called our health visitor a number of times when he was younger and no one seemed to take us seriously. They would just say things like “put what food you want him to eat in front of him and if he doesn’t eat it then don’t offer him anything else”. It didn’t work.
Deep down I knew there was more to it than him being a ‘fussy eater’. He has a genuine problem. A fear. An anxiety. I’ve read about Selective Eating Disorder and I think that’s what Lamb has. According to the article you are born with it, so parents mustn’t blame themselves – easier said than done!
If you think you have a fussy eater, then try having one who lives off plain crackers. That’s all I can get him to eat most days. I can probably count on both hands the types of food he will eat.
He doesn’t eat at nursery, he doesn’t eat at Grandmas (apart from plain bread and crackers, and if we’re lucky a satsuma or an apple). Nursery give him what everyone else is eating and he will just sit in silence looking down at his knees. Then they will offer him plain bread and he happily accepts. He’s a cheeky one though, he will eat the pudding! He has a sweet tooth and loves anything sugary. Typical.
He’s now 3 years old and we need to sort this out. Surely there is someone out there who can help us get him to try new foods? He won’t even let me butter his bread!
Well, after a chat with my new Health Visitor who came over to discuss baby number 2, she agreed to refer him to specialist workshops. I was told about these by my neighbour so I mentioned them when she asked about Lambs health. The HV was super sympathetic about our situation and suggested we refer him to our local walk in centre that has workshops for all kinds of behavioural issues, one being eating problems. She thinks he is the perfect age to attend and I’m more than happy to take this next step in improving his eating habits.
Unfortunately as she hasn’t met him she can’t refer him just yet, but as soon as baby number 2 arrives and she gets to meet my little bubba, she will refer him to the workshops.
I have everything crossed they will help. If I’m honest, I’m not getting my hopes up, but I’m willing to try anything.
I’ll keep you posted.
Ax
Being a Daddy can be tough. I mean, generally they are expected to work to provide for the family, but still bond and build a relationship with their children.
We are going through a rough patch with Lamb and his Daddy at the moment. Lamb has the best friendship with his dad, during the day they are inseparable. It helps that Daddy Lamb is a big kid and is more than happy to run around pretending to be an Avenger or build dens in the garden. The thing is, when it comes to bedtime Lamb pushes him away. Literally.
It’s been going on for a couple of months now and has been breaking his Dads heart. Being told “I don’t want you”, “I want mummy” or “not you” every night must be like torture. I’ve shed a few tears watching or hearing this. It’s painful.
My husband doesn’t show his emotions much. He didn’t cry at our wedding, he didn’t cry when Lamb was born, or at least not in front of me anyway. But this brings out his emotions more than I’ve seen with anything else. No, he doesn’t cry, but he gets angry. The other day he even left the house, he couldn’t hear it anymore, and I don’t blame him.
The way Lamb is has really opened my eyes to how difficult it must be for dads. Of course it could be the same for mums if they work full time and the dad stayed at home, I’m just writing from our personal experience.
With Daddy Lambs new job he often has to lodge away, which we believe makes the situation worse. I stay at home and am in charge of looking after Lamb day and night, while Daddy disappears for a few days and when he returns our family routine is expected to go back to normal. Well, that doesn’t seem to be the case for Lamb. It seems to be affecting him, and when he’s tired or sad he just wants his mummy.
There will soon be another child in our family, and my husband and I are a little worried about how our dynamics will be affected. Right now Lamb asks to hold my hand to fall asleep. I do it when I know I shouldn’t, but trust me when I say the easy way out is all I care about at this stage of my pregnancy. The problem is I’m making things worse. I’ve tried explaining to Lamb that when his brother is here I won’t have the time to cuddle him to sleep or hold his hand. I’ll be looking after the baby. It will be Daddy taking over Lambs bedtime routine, for the early weeks at least.
I know my husband is affected by all of this, but what worries me the most is the thought of it continuing when baby number 2 arrives. I will hopefully be breastfeeding which means I will be responsible for the baby the majority of the time, so he will need to take care of Lamb more. But what if the rejection continues?
I know we are soft with him. People have told us enough, but you don’t need to, we are well aware of it. We need to learn to put our foot down. Don’t get me wrong, we not the softest parents in the world, but Lamb hasn’t been the easiest of kids. Right from the start we had hurdles to jump and I suppose we’ve got into the habit of doing what makes our lives easier so we can get through the day.
I know that’s why I give in to him wanting cuddles and holding his hand at bedtime (this is only a recent thing though so I’m hoping he will grow out of it soon). The same goes with the way he is with Daddy at night, maybe it’s just a phase?
When I see the way he is with him it truly breaks my heart. My husband has been hands on since day one. In fact, he bonded with Lamb before I did. In the hospital I refused to hold him. I now know this is probably down to the pain relief I had as my friend experienced something similar. I just didn’t want to hold him. I rolled over and closed my eyes. I remember my husband asking if I wanted to hold him and me literally saying no. I was scared. I was tired. I was drowsy. I was in shock.
Daddy spent hours bonding with his son and soaking up all of the brand new-ness that I was rejecting.
When we brought Lamb home, my husband would wake up for every feed, just so he could experience everything. He would make notes of the times he fed, the nappies we changed, which boob I fed from. He wanted to be a part of everything. I can’t fault him as a father.
Now for me to hear the words “I don’t want daddy” brings tears to my eyes because all he has ever done is want Lamb. I’m constantly finding myself saying “poor daddy” and I can’t wait for the day I no longer have to say that.
I know this won’t last forever, and like I said earlier, during the day (on weekends) they are inseparable. When Daddy isn’t here Lamb asks for him all of the time, and I tell my husband this to reassure him that the way Lamb is must be just a phase, but right now this is real and it’s painful.
Daddy Lamb you are incredible. You love your son so much it shines and I couldn’t ask for a better person to make babies with 🙂 Here’s to the next chapter of parenting. Our second son will soon be here and we will be faced with new challenges, but with teamwork I know we can do this.
Ax
*Apologies this didn’t go live yesterday when it was supposed to. It was just one of those days!
I suppose this choice of word is a little obvious, but I feel ‘blogging’ is extremely relevant to my life right now.
I began blogging in January 2014 when Lamb was 10 months old. I was a complete novice and treated it like a hobby. I am a bit of a computer geek so I knew I’d enjoy it and it would hopefully be something I’d stick at. You see, I’ve never really had a proper ‘hobby’ in adult life so I was looking forward to something that would my little getaway when I had time to myself (ha, ‘time’).
Fast forward to today and I’m still blogging, and well, I’m not too bad at it! For most of 2014 and 2015 I slowly increased my stats, slowly gained followers and slowly improved my Tots100 rank. Something that has always been consistent from the beginning is working with brands, I think I just had a lucky break there.
However, like I’ve mentioned numerous times, when I was made redundant without notice in October 2015, at around 10 weeks pregnant, I made the decision not to find another job and pretty much take early ‘maternity leave’. I knew I would be launching my Lamb & Bear clothing brand at Christmas, so my husband and I decided I would just throw myself into my blog and brand and see what happened. I would of been on maternity leave in May 2016 anyway, so we just thought screw it, take this opportunity with both hands (and both babies lol) and go for it.
Turns out it was a pretty good decision to make. I mean, we are pretty screwed financially. Going from an annual joint income of around 45k to around 15k isn’t easy (this was due to hubby being made redundant in December 2014, and then me 10 months later), but we are coping (I think, I don’t deal with finances) and we are happy and that’s all that matters.
We are now both doing jobs we enjoy. Hubbys last job made him miserable. He worked nights and long hours and didn’t really have friends at work, most of the guys were a lot older, but he stuck at it because it paid well.
Now he’s an apprentice learning to be an electrician and you can just see the enthusiasm he has for learning a new trade. As for me, I love blogging and am so proud of what I’ve achieved over the last few months since throwing myself into it ‘full time’. Of course I also love designing. I feel so comfortable designing for children, rather than womenswear that I did in my previous job. I just feel like it comes more naturally and my quirkiness is much better suited to little rompers and leggings.
Blogging has opened so many doors for me. Not everyone really understands what blogging is about, unless you read them or write them, I certainly didn’t when I started. I had no idea how influential a blog can be. I had no idea how far a blog post can reach; how many people can be exposed to your word and pictures.
It’s mind blowing really.
In the 2 and a bit years I’ve been blogging I feel I’ve learnt so much but yet still have so much to learn. I have little goals I want to reach in the near future and big goals I want to reach overall, and it seems I’m going in the right direction to complete them.
I love my little blogging bubble and I hope you do too 🙂
Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my journey to get where I am today; friends, family, blogging buddies and brands.
Ax
