With the constant debate on breast or formula, I thought I’d write my thoughts on how I’ll be feeding baby number 2. Feeding your baby is a personal choice and shouldn’t be influenced by anyone, unless you’ve asked specifically for their help and advice.
When Lamb was born I absolutely wanted to breastfeed, nothing else crossed my mind. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Breastfeed until around 6 months then move onto formula for 6 months, then cows milk. The thing is, you can never plan how feeding will go and you may face some challenges, I certainly did. I wrote a post on my breastfeeding challenges with Lamb if you want to read it.
The short version is he couldn’t latch. After staying in hospital for 2 nights/3days with plenty of help from midwives, it just wouldn’t happen. Apparently I’ve got ‘inverted nipples’ which basically means they are too small. I never thought I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed due to small nipples!
These stressful few days of Lamb barely getting any milk (because the midwives didn’t want me giving him formula until we had found a solution to help me breastfeed) I eventually decided to buy a breast pump and express. Lamb was fed with expressed breast milk until he was around 6 months. I expressed for 4 1/2 months, but had a huge supply in the freezer which meant I could continue giving him breast milk for a little longer. I, of course, topped him up with formula. There was no way I could keep up with his demand – he fed every 2 hours in the beginning!
This time round I’m more prepared. I now understand that not everyone is blessed with the ability to breastfeed naturally. But that’s ok. There are ways around it. I’ll make sure there are shields in my hospital bag, I’ll ask the midwives for a pump if I’m struggling. As long as my baby gets my milk that’s all that matters.
This may mean I combination feed from the start. Again, that’s ok. I’m not one of these pro breastfeeders who despise formula and think it’s devil juice. I’m also not one of these crazy ‘lactivists’ who attack woman who use formula. My personal opinion is to try breastfeeding, and if it’s not for you then fine, no matter what the reason, but I believe it’s worth a try. At the end of the day breastmilk is free! I’m not going to rant about it being better for the baby, we all know what the doctors say and it’s up to you if you listen. However for me, formula is expensive. We are living on a very low income with another baby on the way, so if I can avoid buying formula for as long as possible I will.
You never know, breastfeeding may come easily with baby boy, he may be able to latch unlike his big brother. The bottles might stay in the cupboard for a while before I need them.
One thing I do know is I’ll be expressing from the beginning. I want a supply in the freezer ready for when I do bottle feed. Or to give myself a break, daddy can do one night feed so I can get an extra couple of hours sleep.
Like I said earlier, feeding a baby can’t really be planned. You just don’t know how things will turn out.
The most important thing is that you are both happy.
A happy mother (and father!) equals a happy baby. If you are struggling and in a bad place, the baby will pick up on those emotions. Feeding your baby is a beautiful thing, whether it’s from a boob or bottle. Make sure you’re using the time to bond. That’s what I’ll be doing.
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Lovely honest post. I combination fed both my boys – it had its challenges but I’m glad I worked at it for them to have my breast milk for just over a month each. I found the medela nipple shields such a help with Teddy. xx
I think you definitely have the right idea, while I found breastfeeding very easy I know it is not for everyone people have their problems but its always great to give it a try! Good luck hun hope it works out this time for you xx
Good luck with your breastfeeding journey – I suppose second time around you are so much more educated on the challenges you face, so much more real life than just reading things in books or on the internet. I had ‘lazy nipples’ which meant that Oliver’s latch was fairly shallow, I’m not really sure how I get around that beyond shoving ice cubes on them before every feed! haha. I have definitely learned so much from the troubles I had in the early days of feeding Oliver though.
I think you have the right attitude, that you want to try and you have educated yourself on previous issues instead of just feeling defeated, but knowing that there are other options out there if it doesn’t work.
I cried for about 6 weeks in agony, but after that I was so glad I stuck it out, life was so much easier with breastfeeding and he self weaned at 23 months. Honestly the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, and the hardest too!!
I struggled with breastfeeding. N would latch on but wouldn’t suck. In the end in hospital by the 3rd day I had to feed him formula because he was only getting hand expressed colostrum. I tried expressing once I got home, but just couldn’t get any decent amount out, so because formula was working well we stuck with that. Turned out N had tongue tie that noone checked for.
I agree with you, formula is extortionate. I don’t understand why so many mums (in our area you see a lot of young mums buying it), automatically go for formula. Like you, I think try breastfeeding, there’s an awful lot of benefits, and if it doesn’t work there’s an alternative.
Good luck with the new baby when he/she arrives. I breastfed all six of mine and mostly it was a fantastic experience although I had issues with number 5 – turns out she was born with her arm by her head and had a stiff neck so struggled to latch initially which was quickly cured by a chiropracter, so any problems are worth getting help with
Fed is best whatever way that may be. I FF my first (didn’t attempt to breastfeed) this time round we are on 6months exclusively BFeeding. We’ve had some battles along the way but all worth it.
I think it is very important to understand that nothing always goes right does it, you have taken the right attitude before and now. Lovely to hear!
I think that’s the best attitude you can have – you give it a go and if it works it works. I breastfed all three of my babies to 8 months, 9 months and 11 months respectively. I expressed for my eldest so that his Dad could feed him but the girls wouldn’t have any of it so were exclusively breastfed till around 6 months.
Best of luck for your breast feeding journey second time around. I struggled to get started both times but I went home from hospital within a few hours and I did find it easier at home. I ended up feeding my eldest for 18 months and my youngest is still going strong now at 20 months. The one thing that I did that wouldn’t have been advised was that I bought some of the pre-prepared bottles of newborn formula with a teat. When I was struggling to get Lia to feed, I gave her the bottle, literally let her suck it once or twice until I heard her swallow and then latched her straight on to the breast. It worked every time and we only had to do it about 6 times then she was fine. It’s one of those things that made so much difference to us and I’m sure it would to other people if midwives were willing to let people know how helpful it is instead of shunning a drop of formula as devil water.xx
I’m with you on this one. I think its a shame if its not tried, but after trying, if its not working then move on. Good idea with the shields too. Good luck x
I found expressing hard work – because of the time it took but it was worth it. I managed to express for 6 weeks before my milk dried up as I wasn’t doing it enough.
I’m definitely not against trying to breastfeed again if we have another baby but at least now I know it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. I’d love to never have to buy formula again though!
Good luck with it all. 🙂 xx
I was so keen to breastfeed and thought it would be incredibly simple but it really wasn’t for me. My daughter just wasn’t interested at all so after a few days I switched to formula as I was worried she would be hungry and I was really poorly after having my son by which point he was so used to formula he didn’t really want my boobs at all. He did have his first feed from me though and I did try which is all I can do I guess x
You hit the nail on the head when you said as long as you are both happy. As long as baby is feeding and thriving, who cares whether it is formula or breast.
Laura x x x
This is a brilliant post. Your breast feeding journey with Lamb sounds very similar to my experiences with Little Miss H. I expressed a lot and then topped up with formula. It worked well for us and stopped me going mad endlessly trying and failing to breastfeed. I think you have exactly the right attitude to feeding baby number two. Try breastfeeding again. But if it doesn’t work – you know what you can do instead. Hugs Lucy xxxx
I had the same experience as you with your first child. Do what you feel is right for you and the baby and don’t worry about what others think or feel. Only you know what is best.
I think the relaxed approach is the best way, each and e very baby is different and you never know how they (or you for that matter) will feel when they get here. Good luck with whichever way it goes xx
This is really good to read. I had a similar experience to you with SB; she couldn’t latch. Unfortunately I wasn’t given the option of expressing – I was told there was no way I’d manage it, and I was 19 years old and terrified so I just went along with it, which I regret. When we have a second I’ll be expressing from the start. Great post and best of luck! Xx
I really, really wanted to breastfeed my baby (I had my heart set on it for lots of reasons) but sadly because of what happened during his birth it just wasn’t possible. To cut a very long story short, it was touch and go for me for a while and I had to spend a few days in intensive care after he was born before being moved to a ward. I tried to breastfeed and express but my milk never came – I was told it was a natural response due to the stress and all of the medication I was on. I was heartbroken but in the end the move to formula has worked out well for us and Albert is thriving. It’s a tough decision for any mum to make but I agree, fed is best! Good luck with making your decision. x
I think this is a brilliant post; you have such a good outlook on it – fed is always best! I do hope you have less problems with bf this time. I tried it with Parker but it just wasn’t for us, and formula has been the better choice. I agree, it’s stupidly expensive though! xx
Darcie couldn’t latch for the same reason… However, Henry latched straight away and we’re still breastfeeding now at 4 months 🙂 all babies seem to be different, so maybe you will be able to feed directly. I have just started to express now in preparation for my return to work in a few months time. I’m finding that quite hard to fit in to be honest lol xxx
This is lovely to read. I have a one month old and a 5 year old. With my first I breastfed exclusively. But with my second I’m combination feeding. More formula than anything. My supply for some reason just isn’t there. Tried everything and couldn’t get hardly anything from a pump no matter how I tried. Its heartbreaking at times because my body has let me down this time round. Good on you for trying your best!