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I’ve mentioned that my boys don’t sleep in previous posts, but it’s so bad at the moment I feel like the subject deserves a dedicated blog post.
Physically my boys are quite different. I rarely have people tell me they look like each other, because they really don’t. They also have different personalities, builds, interests. They really are polar opposites.
Except at bedtime. At bedtime they’re like 2 peas in a pod.
Wired.
They just don’t get tired.
No matter how much they do in the day, bedtime is the same every night. They just can’t seem to switch off and relax. And for a 5 and 2 year old, after hours at school/nursery, energy burning in soft play, swimming lessons, ninja lessons, sprinting up and down the house, you’d think, you’d really think, they’d crash and burn by 8pm.
But oh no. Not in our house.
We’ve tried bath, book and bed. Nope.
We’ve tried putting them to bed separately. Nope.
What about putting them bed at the same time? Nope.
Having downtime before bed; time to relax, milk, a relaxing movie like the Gruffalo or Stick Man (which usually sends Bear to sleep), snuggles on the sofa, then bed. Does that work? Nope.
We are absolutely open to suggestions if you have any!
As you can imagine, these difficult nights mean we don’t get chance to wind down and relax in the evening. I don’t have much time to work, and quite frankly we’re bloody knackered.
There are a few changes I’ve made to my evenings to try and get as much out of the sleep I get, and make it quality sleep.
First of all we got a new mattress. I honestly can’t stress enough how much better I sleep on it compared to our previous one. I fall asleep easier, relax easier and sleep deeper. So the little time I do actually sleep is at least decent. I highly recommend finding your perfect mattress to improve your sleep when it’s broken like mine.
Next I’ve reduced how much I work on my laptop in the evenings. It’s not always possible, but I try not to sit for hours in the evening looking at the screens. Instead I leave packing orders for the evening. Planning the next day/week in my planner. A bit of social media updating.
There’s something else I want to change about my evenings, and that’s how much time I spend with the boys. I’m always in such a hurry to get them to bed and rushing around so I can get some work done (understandably), but I feel I’m missing time I could spend snuggling and reading them bedtime stories.
I feel like if I was to change my view on bedtime, and treat it as a time to sit and bond with my boys I may gain some control.
I just need to get them to sit down and read with me now…
It’s really not an easy process for us at the moment. Dealing with someone who works full time and comes home and would like an evening to relax, a work at home mum spending every hour thinking of how much she has to do all the time whilst staring at her chaotic house, and 2 boys who refuse to go to bed, and run around the house like nutters until 9pm. Well, it really takes it’s toll on you.
We desperately want to gain a little control over our bedtime routine and give us some child free time to relax. At the moment we’re not even close. But fingers crossed, one day, those precious little boys will give us our evenings back!
My youngest is exactly the same, he is bouncing off the walls at bedtime. He is 8 now and it’s still 10:30pm by the time he falls asleep every evening. It’s awful feeling like you just have no adult time constantly. Fingers crossed your boys change their ways for you soon. x
Thanks lovely, it’s a real challenge isn’t it. I just don’t know how to make them sleepy. We do bath and book, but they still get up and play. It’s impossible. x
My eldest was awake 22 hours a day until he started school. He would literally bounce around all day and night. We tried everything and nothing worked until he started school it all changed. He adapted to a new bedtime routine very quickly and from then on was sleeping 10hours a night.
Lamb is in year 1 and still isn’t showing signs of being tired. I’m hoping his brother is different. I really wish they had separate bedrooms. I think that would help. x
I can so relate to this. My daughter won’t sleep a lot of the time. We are trying essential oils and lavender to help her but it is such a challenge at the moment. having a comfy mattress is a good thing and I’ve just upgraded to too to try and help my daughter.
We are hoping to get an extension this year to give the boys separate bedrooms. Then they will both get comfier beds and I can concentrate on their bedroom routines in separate rooms. x
Dont worry – its a phase that will pass by! My oldest boy wh is 12 doesnt get up before 12 over the weekend!
That’s exactly what I keep telling myself… they will soon be lazy boys! Even if it’s a phase though, it’s a bloody long one and I’m beyond tired. x
I hear you mama! Instead of being downstairs enjoying my bit of free time in the evening I am up feeding jasmine. Once she sleeps I am up every 45 minutes with each sleep cycle. I’m exhausted like you. Although I do get a foot oil from mummy loves organics I rub on her feet which help her fall asleep. Sending you a virtual hug!!
I need to try a lavender pillow spray again. Maybe even a lullaby. Just anything to relax them! Both of mine have never really slept through, which I can handle if they go to bed at a decent time! But it’s all evening and all night.
I used to laugh at people who put there kids to bed at 6.30pm. My kids have always been late to go to bed but after that I do feel lucky that they are good sleepers in general. You must be utterly exhausted.
Yep I am. My eldest went to bed 6 till 6 when he was a baby and slept amazingly. It all went down hill when he turned 1. Then his brother arrived when he was 3 and has never slept through… he’s 2 and a half. One day, one day, they will sleep!
Oh my goodness, how do you do it! My memory is such a blur from when our twins were small and I was so sleep deprived! I do not function well when I’m tired. I hope and know you will one day get your sleep and evenings back, just hang on in there xxx
Thanks lovely, it is really hard. x
Feeling your pain! This is my youngest all over at the moment. I feel like something from The Walking Dead this week and it’s only half way through the week. x
If I’m not chasing the kids in the evening, I’m working. I need a holiday! x
You poor poor thing. I need my sleep so much and can’t imagine how I’d cope if I didn’t get a decent night’s sleep. I hope it’s something they grow out of! xx