I honestly think I’m already showing signs of a better PMA recently. I’m not sure if you lot can see that? Towards the end of last year I felt so lost in life. So many things in my head. Who was I?
Well, I’ve been working insanely hard at my little online brand and things are slowly falling into place. I’m making sure the days I’m at home with Bear are not full of work to do lists, but are dedicated to him. That way when I am working my head is less stressed and I can concentrate on the tasks I have to do.
Of course, if I have a big deadline, or an order to post out I’ll try to get it done with him at home, but last year I spent too many days resenting being a work from home mum, and desperate for him to nap or sit quietly while I worked.
That’s not what being a parent should be like.
I’ve mentioned before that life hasn’t quite gone how I expected it to. At this stage in my life (even with children) I thought I’d be settled into my career in fashion, working my way up the ladder.
But life had a different plan for me.
I’ve now been a stay at home mum/work at home mum for over 2 years with no intention of me looking for employment.
Both my husband and I have discussed what’s best for our family, and although I struggle with feeling a little lost with my path, me working from home on my blog and business is the right decision for us.
With our income being so low after our redundancies we just can’t afford more childcare than we pay for now, even if I was working.
My workload leading up to Christmas was crazy, I mean really crazy. I was up until midnight almost every might trying to complete the sponsored posts, gift guides, reviews etc I’d agreed. I definitely took on too much for the 2 days a week I work.
Having said that, I can’t turn work down either. As a family we’re not in a position to say no to paid work. We need everything we can get.
January has been fairly quiet on the blog front. And if I’m honest I’m glad! It’s given me time to reflect on how I was feeling last year about my career. It’s allowed me to spend time solely with Bear without absolutely no other commitments to think about during the day. Anything that did need doing could be done when he was asleep.
Although I’m ready for the paid work to pick up again, I’m genuinely grateful for my little ‘break’ from work.
My eyes have been opened to just how stressed and exhausted I was last year. I worked myself into the ground and was slowly burning out.
Going forward I want to continue to feel positive and optimistic about my career and life path.
I want to show my boys that following your dreams and growing something you’ve created and built all by yourself is totally achievable.
I want them to be able to tell their friends what mummy does for a living and me not cringing at the thought because it’s not really a living and more a hobby.
Most importantly, I want them to be proud.
I want to be proud!
Right now I’m preparing to launch a brand new product on my Etsy shop (which I just opened and I’d love for you to take a look) and have just sent a new print design to a UK printers. Yes, that’s right, UK! My production is moving to the UK and my products will be 100% British.
I’m also discussing some fab blog campaigns with brands I love and spending time growing my social channels and developing great content.
When I write down how much I’m achieving in my career, it’s then that I allow myself to feel proud.
On the days where I’m behind and Bear won’t nap, it’s really easy for me to resent what I do, as in all honesty, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had.
Do not assume being a blogger is easy. It’s rewarding but relentless.
Whenever I’m feeling down my bestie always reminds me to have a PMA. Reflect on the day with a positive mental attitude and think about what you can do to make it better.
And if there’s no coming back from the shit day I’m having, then I’ll admit defeat, switch off from work, and start a fresh tomorrow.
Nobody is going to grow my business but myself. I can’t rely on anyone else to make sales, bring in campaigns, build my brand (unless I’m in a position to hire someone to help of course), so it’s down to me to kick ass and get shit done.
So if you’re wondering where the stressed-out, burnt out and totally exhausted Alex has gone, well, she’s still here but with a PMA instead.