A question that goes through most parents minds is “when should we try for another?” Well, it certainly goes through my mind. Lamb is 18 months and by now a lot of new mums are pregnant with their second baby, or may already have a second child. Not us. We are really scared about having another. Not because we don’t enjoy being parents, not because we don’t love having Lamb, but because of the financial implications, and the time needed to raise 2 children.
Since Jaxson came along we have completely exhausted our savings. There’s nothing left. Nothing. I work part time, and Joe works nights. I’m not going to lie, we struggle. But who doesn’t? Joe earns a decent wage. He covers the mortgage and the bills. I cover everything from groceries to clothes and nappies for Lamb, but we still have little money left at the end of the month, certainly nothing to save. So what will we use when I’m on maternity leave again? This scares me.
We live in a small(ish) 2 bed semi, so we certainly don’t have the bedroom space for another. This is a key factor for us when deciding on baby number 2. We want to be settled in a home we know is big enough for our whole family (whenever we decided to expand it). Ideally I would like a 4 bedroom house. But now I’m working part-time, I’m not sure we will get a big enough mortgage. So our second option is extending. We have to space to extend, but do we really want to live on a building site with a toddler? Ugh.
A second baby is definitely in our future, we are just not sure how soon. I always said I would try when my first is around 2 years old, but parenting has hit me harder than I thought it would, making my decision to have another a bit scary.
Lamb is amazing. He’s so funny and caring, he’s shy but polite and comes out of his shell eventually. But he can be quite difficult. He doesn’t eat. He’s a huge fussy eater, and now he won’t sleep. This has thrown a spanner in the works. The thought of having a newborn up late, plus a toddler refusing to go to bed put shivers down my spine. I want to give Jaxson my full attention, and crack down on his eating and sleeping, before he has to share me with a younger sibling. He deserves that.
However, with all that said, Joe and I both had the “let’s try for another” thought yesterday. Separately. Which shows we are on the same page.
We have both agreed we don’t want to leave it too long before trying. We want Jaxson to be young enough to bond with his sibling and be able to eventually share the same things.
If you have read my previous blog posts, you will know I’m getting married in December. This gives us a couple of months free of “baby no.2.” Basically, no thinking about when to start trying can happen until next year (I have a very tight dress to fit into!)
After the wedding we can sit down and really think about the pros and cons to trying for another baby. When the right time is for us, although is there really a right time to try?
Are we going to look at moving into a bigger house early next year? This would make me feel more comfortable about trying for another baby.
Or, by next year will Lambs fussy eating have improved, and will he be sleeping in his own room again?
Personally, I feel one of these should happen before we have another baby.
I’d love to know your thoughts on trying for another baby. Did you sit and think things through like me? Or was it something that just came naturally at the right time?
Alex x
