As Lamb approached 2 years old I knew we were slowly reaching second baby territory. At the time we were not quite ready for another, but we knew we would try eventually.
My other half and I discussed the ‘ideal’ age gap we would like between siblings a few times. At one point we agreed waiting until Lamb was 4 so he would be at school when our second baby arrived.
I spent most of Lambs baby months struggling with my emotions; major baby blues. I feared I would be the same with my second. In my head, waiting until Lamb was at school would be easier on me emotionally, as well as physically!
Last summer we took Lamb on his second holiday abroad. While I was there I thought about baby number 2. Was I ready? I was feeling great and in a good place emotionally. I was happy. Really, really happy.
I thought about things long term. At the time I was approaching my 29th birthday. I’d always said I wanted my children in my twenties. I wanted to spend my thirties concentrating on me. To be my prime; perfect weight, career focussed, raising children, happy families.
Obviously you can’t plan exactly when you’ll have a baby, but you can think about what’s your ‘ideal’. It was on that holiday I realised I was ready. I wanted my second baby before I turned 30.
Call it my maternal bucket list! 😉
This gave me a 5 month window to fall pregnant and fulfil my ‘bucket list’. We discussed trying once we were back from our holiday. If I fell pregnant fairly quickly it would mean Lamb would be just 3 when baby was born.
We started trying at the end of July, however I knew I had already ovulated (I get pains when I do so I’m pretty good at knowing), so we wouldn’t fall pregnant in August.
By mid September (the first point we could possibly be pregnant), my period was late. The thing is, as always, I couldn’t remember the date of my period in August and had to rely on my bestie to figure it out. She actually found a text message form me complaining about feel crappy during my period. So she worked out I was a week late!
No need to do a test really, a week late for me was almost 100% a pregnancy!
So. After all of the discussion about ‘ideally’ falling pregnant within the next 5 months so I would be 29 when baby was born, we actually fell pregnant after 1 try!
Kinda funny really. Pregnancy is just so unpredictable.
We worked out that baby number 2 would be due in May, 2 months after Lambs 3rd birthday.
Between our boys there is a 3 year and 2 month age gap.
Of course, no matter what age gap your children have, you adjust and make it work. I truly believe some gaps will be harder than others, but either way you deal with it.
I personally love the gap between Lamb & Bear.
Lamb’s speech has always been really good and by 2 1/2 we were having pretty decent conversations. I spent the whole of my pregnancy (well, from 12 weeks) telling him about his sibling, explaining to him he was going to be a big brother.
I bought him a dolly and taught him about nappy changing, bathing and feeding. I made him feel needed and helpful.
Fast forward to the birth of Bear and I have to say, watching Lamb meet his baby brother for the first time was the most heartwarming, overwhelming and happiest moment of my life. The joy on his face was priceless.
Since then Lamb has been the most caring big brother I could ask for for Bear. He has never once shown an ounce of jealousy. He has never harmed him (you know how they can be, a sneaky poke in the eye etc), or shown aggression towards him.
He absolutely adores him.
Bear is 15 months old today and the last 15 months have been a bit of a rollercoaster, but for the boys, they have been truly wonderful.
Their bond is incredible. They make each other laugh and are starting to play together as Bear gets older.
For our family, the 3 year, 2 month age gap is perfect. Lamb is old enough to understand that sometimes Bear needs mummys attention a little bit more than he does. He understands he has to play by himself or get his own drink from the fridge. He takes himself off to the toilet, or gets his own clothes in the morning and gets dressed.
I feel so blessed to have such a caring big brother for Bear. Lamb is my sidekick, my little helper and my best friend.
As with all 4 years olds, he tests me, he’s getting a little cocky and tries to wind me up. But overall he helps me in more ways that he knows.
Having an age gap of just over 3 years has been our ‘ideal’. Lamb has had the chance to bond with his brother before he starts school in September (:( ) and I’ve had the chance to watch their relationship blossom.
You can never really be fully prepared for a new baby. There’s always a reason it’s not the ‘right time’. But for us, we’ve nailed it. Ok, days can be tough, I mean, really tough. I can be the shouty mum, the crying mum, the crazily happy mum.
But for me, the gap is just right and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
My boys are best buddies and that’s all a parent can ask for.