When Lamb was around 9 months old I wrote this post on my experience with the baby blues. If you haven’t read it already, please check it out if you want to know about how I was feeling during the spell.
While I was jotting down my thoughts and feelings about the blues, little did I know they would continue for a lot longer. Until Lamb was around 16 months to be exact.
Seriously, how many of you knew the blues could last that long, because I certainly didn’t.
There’s this area of unknown when it comes to post natal depression and baby blues which sits between the 2, and it needs to be talked about.
I’m a strong believer in fighting depression with love and support before turning to medication. I’ve touched upon depression in the past and got through it without professional help, so when I spent the first 16 months of my sons life battling with extreme emotions I was confident I could do it again.
Looking back on my ‘dark days’ I can now say I had mild post natal depression, but I can also say I’m happy with my decision not to speak to a doctor or health visitor about it. My ‘medication’ was simple. Socialising and talking through my emotions with friends, family and fellow mummies (you know who you are).
This was successful for me, but everyone is different. Don’t read this post and think you will be ok without professional help. I did mention to my health visitor at Lambs 12 month review how I was feeling, in fact she could see it straight away. She told me to call her if I was worried about how I was feeling.
The blues lasted a few months longer, but as Lamb developed into a toddler and became more independent I started to feel more confident as a mother and enjoyed spending time with him. I could feel the ‘dark cloud’ lifting and knew I was recovering.
When I think back to the first year and a half of Lambs life it pains me to think how sad I actually was, because I have the most beautiful, funny, caring and sensitive little Lamb, and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am and how much I love him. I honestly feel I have gone from one extreme to another.
I hate it when books and websites tell you the baby blues last for a couple of weeks and are usually in the first couple of months after birth. What a load of rubbish. Ok so this may be the average, but no where does it say the blues can last much, much longer, or is it the case that if they do you automatically get pushed down the PND road and have your mouth stuffed with meds.
For me, I want to raise awareness to the fact there is this middle ground between the norm ‘baby blues’ and PND. A ground that is rocky and long, but that smoothes out over time and ends with unicorns, fairies and candy floss. Trust me, I got there.
Alex x
If you are suffering with the ‘baby blues’ or are unsure of how you are feeling, please call your health visitor. They are not their to judge, they genuinely care for you and can talk you through the darkest of days. Do not suffer alone. They want to help.
